The Departed

The Departed: 2006 Crime Drama directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Leo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Marky Mark, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, and Anthony Anderson.



Marc Horton Plot Synopsis: Leo goes undercover for the cops. Damon goes undercover for the Irish mob. A bunch of guys in horrible Boston accents yell insults at each other for being from various sides of the track. Nicholson runs the mob; he smells a rat. Mayhem ensues, with plenty of double-crosses along the way.

Like No Country for Old Men, it's slick, pointlessly violent and empty. But Hollywood ate it up, awarding Scorsese the Best Picture Oscar more or less as a lifetime Achievement Award in case he drops dead before he makes another worthy film and as an apology for stiffing him for genuine works of genius such as The King of Comedy.

By the time you get to the "surprise" ending you're exhausted and don't care.

Politically Incorrect Movie Review: The Departed should have stayed away.

The Way We Were

The Way We Were: 1973 Romantic Drama starring Robert Redford, Barbara Streisand. Directed by Sidney Pollack.




Marc Horton Plot Synopsis: A good-looking, popular, athletic Yalie falls in love with an ugly, humorless, Commie sympathizer who tries to rally her fellow students to the Kremlin's efforts in Civil War Spain.

He's a pragmatic WASP with friends named "Muffy" and "Charles Emerson Winchester III." She's an idealistic Jewish political agitator whose only friend is fellow Trotskyite James Woods. Implausibly, Redford's drawn to her. Even more implausibly, his friends don't organize an intervention.

Years go by. Redford's in the Navy. Streisand irons her hair straight (honest, they make a big deal out of it). They run into each other at a pish-posh party and make an accidental hook-up. She becomes desperately clingy. He fails to get a restraining order.

Another chance encounter on the street months later leads to romance. This time he stays around despite the fact that she is incapable of getting along with other humans. They move to Hollywood so Redford can pursue his writing career. He wants to make movies; Streisand wants him to write novels. He compromises to get his movie made; she marches off to Washington to defend her First Amendment rights at the HUAC hearings. Still, he stands by her.

The only thing the characters even superficially address is their cultural differences. She says her mother insists that the baby be named after her grandmother, "Shlemackel" or something. He laughs and they both fall to the sandy beach. Aaaah.

After all that, he bolts because - I dunno - because Hollywood producers in the 70s wanted a tear-jerker ending.

Money Quote:

Streisand: "Is it because I'm not attractive?"

Redford: (blank stare)

Re-write: "In a word: 'Yes.' "

Political Incorrect Movie Review: Streisand strains to prove her Marxist bona fides, but brings Redford along for box-office ballast.