Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)

Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939): Historical Romance, Charles Laughton, Maureen O'Hara.



The Marc Horton plot synopsis: Asswipe falls in love with red-haired, green-eyed Irish-American "gypsy." Kills rival suitor. Inexplicably blames murder on gypsy. Inquisition-type court delivers "witch" verdict. Deformed bell-ringer hides gypsy in Notre Dame Cathedral. State over-rides Church's Sanctuary and vows to burn her, or hang her, or give her a stern scolding or something.

The Hype: Hugo wrote Notre-Dame de Paris as a clarion call to restore the cathedral, which had fallen into a state of disrepair after several centuries. There's a silent movie version, but this Hollywood talkie of Victor Hugo's door-stopper won Laughton praise for his portrayal of Quasimodo, the bell-ringer who tries to save O'Hara the gypsy.

The Reality: Aside from Laughton, everybody in this movie sounds like they dropped in from 20th-century Stockton rather than 15th-century Paris. Maureen O'Hara as a gypsy? I half-expected Keanu Reeves (or maybe his father) to pop up as a street urchin. The biggest travesty, however, is the happy ending. Mon dieu.

The Politically Incorrect Movie Review: The only people needing Sanctuary! are the movie-viewers who get sucked into watching Hollywood take a 20th-century hatchet to a 19th-century classic.